After working out for a while and seeing your health improve, along with your appearance, you probably want other people you care about to experience the same thing.
I know that was definitely the case for me.
However, it can be frustrating when they don’t have the same desire you do — especially if they are your significant other.
You can’t force other people to want what you want for them.
But this is one case that I feel is an exception because…
- Exercise is necessary for optimal health
- Most people would like to be in better shape
In other words, most people who don’t want to exercise still desire the benefits of exercise.
If you’re in a situation where you’re really into the fitness lifestyle and your partner is a nasty slob who lacks the ambition to better themselves, you’re better off finding someone else.
I know that’s harsh, but that’s the truth. When someone is stuck in their ways, they usually won’t change. And you know what, that’s fine — why not find someone you don’t want to change instead?
For most people, this isn’t the case. Your girlfriend or boyfriend probably has an interest in working out, they just haven’t taken the plunge for whatever reason.
This article is about figuring out those reasons.
I’m not going to tell you how to manipulate your girlfriend or wife into lifting weights — I’m going to offer some ideas for helping them shift their mindset about lifting weights so that they are a willing participant.
Sound good? Let’s jump in.
1. Figure Out the Benefits of Working Out that Will Appeal to Her
We all know that exercise makes you look better, feel better, and live longer. Those benefits are so common that they aren’t motivating enough to someone who is stuck in a rut about going to the gym.
What you want to do is figure out what other benefits might spark an interest in your girl to want to exercise.
So let’s start with one of my favorite benefits — working out boosts arousal for women.
I’ve been told by women I know that lifting weights noticeably increases their sex drive. In fact, this effect often starts immediately after leaving the gym.
In fact, one study found that acute exercise improves physical sexual arousal in women taking antidepressants, which are known for dramatically reducing sex drive.
Here’s another interesting benefit — exercise is correlated with higher salaries.
According to this study, employees who regularly exercise earn 9% more than their lazier counterparts.
Maybe your girlfriend is part of the 0.1% of people that aren’t driven by sex and money. Well, exercise can also improve skin. Not only can exercise reduce wrinkles (and lifting weights will eliminate cellulite), but it can also make her skin glow.
Does your wife struggle to get quality sleep at night? Exercise can improve sleep quality by 65%. (Source)
Here are a few more benefits I can list off the top of my head:
- Improved mental performance
- Boosted immunity
- Overall happier disposition
- Reduces stress
Surely your girlfriend is interested in at least one of these benefits, right?
2. Explain the Advantages of Lifting Weights vs Cardio
Once you’ve peaked her interest about exercise in general, she might be quick to assume that “exercise” means doing cardio.
Most women defer to cardio by default because that is what they are most familiar with and feel most comfortable doing.
But that’s not your objective here, is it? You want her to lift weights!
The truth is there are a ton of different ways to get in shape.
By no means is lifting weights the only way.
However, lifting weights is the most effective way for women to get the body they want.
A lot of women just don’t realize what kind of body they could potentially have if they lifted weights instead of doing 100% cardio.
Plus, they don’t realize how much more enjoyable lifting weights is compared to doing cardio.
For example, my fiancee used to love doing those workout classes and Jillian Michaels-type of at-home workouts.
After a few weeks of lifting weights with me, she said she doesn’t think she would enjoy the way she used to exercise anymore.
Another interesting thing I’ve seen personally (I haven’t checked with the science brigade or anything) is that women seem to respond quicker to weight training than men do — meaning they see results quickly. They also tend to develop their lower body quicker than their upper body, which is pretty much ideal for the female physique.
3. Find Fitness Influencers that Inspire Her
Another reason your lady friend might not be interested in lifting weights is that she doesn’t know any other girls who do it to make it a relatable activity. She might think it’s great that you lift weights, but she still doesn’t see herself doing it.
To help her out, find fitness influencers that she can relate to and let her dive into their content at her own pace.
If she is overweight, look for influencers who went through an impressive weight loss journey.
If she is a recovering cardio bunny with no ass, introduce her to someone like Nikki Blackketter.
The point is that trying to get her into lifting weights by having her follow all the same people you do might not be the best approach. She might not like the sites you read or the channels you follow on YouTube.
She might not even like this site!
Once she finds people she can relate to, it will be easier for her to get into it.
4. Give Her a Plan to Follow
Working out can be as simple or as complicated as you make it.
Your girlfriend is going to feel overwhelmed trying to figure everything out on her own without any guidance because the amount of misinformation online is astounding.
If you have the knowledge, create a diet and training plan for her to follow step-by-step until she gets the hang of things. Otherwise, seek out an expert.
I provide all of the information she needs for free on HMP…
Recommended reading: Fitness Dieting Made Easy
5. Go to the Gym Together
Lots of women are intimidated by the gym for a variety of reasons — specifically when it comes to lifting weights.
They are afraid that they will look stupid by not knowing what they’re doing with the weights and that people will judge them. They’re also afraid that a bunch of creepy guys will hit on them.
Recommended reading: 5 Reasons to NOT Be Intimidated By the Gym as a Woman
However, if you go together you can show her how to do all of the exercises. She’ll also feel more comfortable with you around.
Plus, it’s just fun to workout with the person you’re dating.
6. Help Her Embrace the Lifestyle
Fitness is a lifestyle.
Dieting for 30 days to drop some fat and then going back to eating shit isn’t a fitness lifestyle — it’s a waste of time.
When health nuts talk about “the lifestyle,” it sounds intimidating to people because it sounds like you have to be obsessed 24/7 to get results.
That’s not true at all, but you still have to generally be on your game most of the time.
To me, that’s all part of the fun.
Explain to her that intense workouts are important, but so is everything else outside of the gym, such as eating a healthy diet and getting enough rest to recover from lifting weights.
The fitness lifestyle creates a mindset for self-improvement — always striving to make progress and do better.
The fitness lifestyle is so much more fun when those around participate as well.
If you can’t quite find the words to describe the fitness lifestyle, just tell her that you guys are basically going to eat healthy food, look great, and have incredible sex all the time.
Recommended reading: 3 Keys to Developing the Forever Fit Mindset
7. Set Realistic Expectations
The fitness game is mostly smoke and mirrors — there’s an incredible amount of deception.
Before she gets started lifting weights, you want to explain that she’s not going to look like a fitness model after a month in the gym. That’s just not how it works.
We all want fast results, so hearing that can be discouraging. That’s why you want to keep her focused on short-term attainable goals that keep her momentum going.
As she starts to see the results in the mirror, she’ll have a better understanding of what it takes to get in a great shape and she will be able to set her own expectations.
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What do you think? Do you agree, disagree or have any thoughts to add? Let me know in the comments below.
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