It’s easy to get caught up asking “how?” when we should really be asking “why?”.
As important as the how is, it only helps us figure out how to accomplish a task. It doesn’t tell us whether we are pursuing the right task or not.
That’s where the “why” comes in.
“Why?” is the most important question to ask. That’s why children constantly ask why everything is the way it is — they’re hungry for knowledge and they know asking why is the quickest way to get to the bottom of anything.
Once you have your why, figuring out the how is as simple as reverse-engineering the desired outcome.
We’re Driven By “Why”
We all know how to accomplish most of the things we want to accomplish.
If you want to lose weight, you simply eat less calories and exercise more. It can get more complicated than that, but that’s basically it.
If losing weight was as simple as figuring out how, no one would be overweight thanks to the internet and Google.
We’re not driven by figuring out how to accomplish something — we’re driven by having a reason for why we should dedicate ourselves.
Instead of asking how you’re going to lose 20 lbs, first ask yourself why you want to lose that weight.
Because I want to be skinnier.
Because I want to look good naked.
Because I want to feel desirable.
Our why is almost always an emotional feeling.
I often talk about how emotions get in the way of us making decisions and how others can manipulate our emotions to control us. That doesn’t mean our emotions are inherently bad.
Emotions are part of what make us human and they’re what makes life so incredible.
Since we’re naturally driven by emotions, why not use them to our advantage?
When you identify why you want to accomplish something, you create an emotional reward for the outcome, which drives us more than logical rewards.
Know Their Why
In most transactions, it’s beneficial to understand what the other person gains — you want to know their why.
Because their why can tell you whether you’re getting screwed over or not.
Think about it. Let’s say someone wants to sell you their car and the price is more than fair, it’s almost a steal.
The sucker pulls out his wallet and pays as quickly as possible because he thinks this deal is too good to pass up.
The thoughtful buyer asks “Why are you selling your car?” and when the story doesn’t add up, he walks away.
One thing I’ve learned is that when someone is hiding their why, or their why doesn’t appear to be a legitimate motivating factor for them, you’re probably being scammed.
Sometimes people are altruistic. Sometimes people are just kind of weird and their why doesn’t make sense.
In an honest transaction, the why is always clear. Even if you don’t like the way, you need to know what it is.
P.S. When you read my book you’ll find out why it was a great decision.
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What do you think? Do you agree, disagree or have any thoughts to add? Let me know in the comments below.
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