I hate asking for help.
I’ve always felt that asking for help was weak and I should push through and figure it out on my own.
However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that was a mistake.
Nearly all of the successful people I’ve met are quick to ask for help — but they do so in a way that doesn’t seem like they want or need a handout.
Plus, through the combination of HMP and my marketing services, I’ve helped a lot of people and businesses. It feels good to help others when they actually follow through on the advice — even when they’re paying clients, I get equal satisfaction from watching their business grow as I do from getting paid.
Help isn’t a free handout for bums because bums never follow through on help.
Help is a shortcut for hustlers.
I remember this guy I worked with when I was DJ’ing told me this saying:
“Help is like sex — take it as often as you can from whoever is willing to give it to you.”
I don’t agree with it exactly, but I think he makes a fair point.
How many times have you struggled through something that would’ve taken half the time if you just had a little help?
I would’ve saved years in my fitness and business endeavors if I had asked for more help along the way.
While I still don’t enjoy asking for help, I’m working on getting better at it.
If you’d like to ask for help without looking like a bum, follow the three guidelines listed below.
After You’ve Already Taken Action
If you haven’t taken action to accomplish your objective, you’re not ready to ask for help.
You don’t even know if you need help yet because you haven’t tried.
The most annoying thing about offering help is when the receiving party won’t help themselves at all.
After all, what’s in it for the person giving the help. Giving help is only satisfying when the person uses the help to succeed.
You want to show the person you’re asking for help from that you’ve already taken action and what progress you’ve made.
Not only does this assure them that you aren’t a lazy bum, but it also allows them to give you better, more specific advice.
Be sure to follow-up and show them how you applied their advice and the results you got.
When You Know the Right Question
The type of people you want to ask for help from are busy.
While you may be equal in the eyes of God, the market values their time more than yours.
Your access to this person will be limited, so you can’t afford to waste time — for your sake and for the sake of not being an annoyance.
That’s why you want to know the right question(s) to ask.
Assuming you’ve already taken action, you’ve already narrowed down potential solutions.
For example, let’s say you want to lose 30 lbs and have a lean muscular physique. You could ask a fitness expert “How do I get in shape?”, but that wouldn’t get you a helpful answer.
The answer to that question is obvious — eating a healthy diet in a caloric deficit and exercising.
You should have already tried that. All of the information you need is free and widely available online.
A better question would be to ask the fitness expert how you maintain the most muscle while dieting down. Now you’ve got something useful and specific that gives you a shortcut to your end goal.
This is a very basic example, but you get the point.
Figure out the exact answer you need first, then reverse engineer it to get the best question.
When the Person You’re Asking Has Accomplished What You Want to Accomplish
Help or advice is only as good as the person delivering it.
Never strictly follow the advice of someone who hasn’t accomplished what you want to accomplish.
Sometimes people have the knowledge but they lack the grit to put that knowledge to use and that’s fine. But I generally look for and show preference to advice from people who have actually done it.
People who are successful in any field or area of life have a wealth of knowledge in that area. The two always seem to go hand-in-hand.
Not to say that there are “secrets to success” — more like certain truths you must accept to reach higher levels.
Anyone who is successful in the thing you want to improve at and willing to mentor you in some way is a tremendous advantage for you. Always be respectful of their time and do what you can to provide value to them in some way, which includes putting their advice into action. (Because it makes them feel good.)
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, as long as you take the right approach. If you’re smart, willing to put in the work, and you want to get ahead quicker — start asking for help more often.
Get comfortable with it because humans work better together and there’s only so much you can accomplish on your own.
Speaking of asking for help, I’m going to ask you for a huge favor that will only take 30 seconds of your time. I want you to take a quick two-question survey that will help me move HMP in the direction that is most helpful for you.
Your help is greatly appreciated!
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What do you think? Do you agree, disagree or have any thoughts to add? Let me know in the comments below.
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